A Lasting Lesson from the Election
By Jennifer Smith-Holladay
I woke up early this morning. Too early, after a fitful night of sleep. As I tossed off my blankets, I stole a peek at my 5-month-old, tucked under my spouse’s arm. Little Zoe sleeps so soundly there, making her baby snores. It’s a precious moment I savor each and every morning.
And this morning, of all mornings, seeing my child in the safe embrace of her other mother’s arms was especially precious. A quiet moment that marked the sanctity of our family, that spoke to the love and care that guides us day by day.
If only Zoe could stay there, folded into loving arms, safely dreaming her baby dreams about the two Moms who dote on her.
But she, like me, will wake up one day and face the harsh judgment of her fellow Americans, like the people of Mississippi who voted six to one to ban marriage protections for gay families. Or the people in 10 other states who overwhelmingly approved similar, and sometimes more restrictive, measures limiting protections for same-sex couples.
Or maybe my child’s first dose of reality’s nightmare will come from the likes of Republican Senate candidate Bobby Coffer. During the North Carolinian’s campaign, he mailed postcards to supporters calling himself a “proud American” for “family values” and “against same-sex marriage,” offering a message to the LGBT community: “Gay and lesbian, please ask God for help, AIDS will destroy.”
This is the world my child inherits. And, in my mind’s eye, it seems that world doesn’t want her — or her Mommies — in it. When John Kerry offered his symbolic embrace to supporters during his concession speech, I so desperately wanted that hug, because I am terribly frightened of what will come. Senator Kerry may not have been an advocate for gay marriage, but he didn’t want to write my family out of the Constitution by writing discrimination into it.
I have learned one lasting lesson from this election. Surprisingly, I have discovered that I share something with the conservative right: I feel like my family is under attack, and I’m going to fight like hell to protect it.
Still, I will try hard to do what Senator Kerry has asked of me: search out common ground, move forward, make America better, stronger, united. I’m a little worried by Bush’s victory pledge to uphold the “deepest values of family and faith,” as many assume families like mine possess no moral values, but I’ll hold fast to the president’s promise that we’re “entering a season of hope.”
Certainly, my child — every child, every one of us — deserves a little hope.
Jennifer Smith-Holladay is the director of Tolerance Programs & Special Projects at the Southern Poverty Law Center. She and her partner are the mothers of five-month-old Zoe.
Nov. 5, 2004