Stacy Vasquez
Sergeant First Class, U.S. Army (1991-2003)
It is difficult to know where to start in a ten year experience. Have you ever awakened and thought to yourself "why am I still here?" Many times during my service in the Army I wondered how I could be living the principles of leadership in silence.
My story is not very ornamented with drama. I was frequently asked why I did not go on dates, especially as a recruiter. I would usually respond with the typical "I just have not met anyone I really like." While I was recruiter though I hit a bit of a snag.
Most of my co-workers had figured out why I did not share my personal life so much but were very considerate about not mentioning it or letting anyone else outside of our group figure it out. Unfortunately, one of my coworkers mentioned it to a new person in our office. This was the beginning of my only problem with the Army in ten years. The remarks about gays began frequently coming up in conversations. This was a leadership challenge I can honestly I say I was not prepared for at this point in my life.
When his evaluation rolled around I left my personal feelings out of it but the fact still remained he was a poor performer at work. You can probably figure out what happened next. Cutting to the chase, his wife saw me kiss a girl in the gay bar, promptly notified my commander and there I was getting my rights read to me. Luckily, I had a wonderful commander who did the right thing. He asked me to think very hard about just letting go and moving on since this would stigmatize my career.
I went to my parents, who have always been my biggest supporters and they asked me to leave the service. I went back to the commander, waived my rights and accepted that I could not change the Army's policies from within the organization. My commander did everything he promised until he was moved. Then the new commander arrived and asked if she could rip up my statement to keep me. At this point, there was no way I could continue living the lie anymore. It had taken a toll on me emotionally and professionally. Also I feared what could happen in the future if it was discovered again or someone was persistent enough to take it to a higher level. I did not appear before a board because truthfully the policy was not going to change there and I wanted to move on.
Since I have left the Army I am finishing a degree in Political Science and Women's Studies. I have been accepted to law school and will begin in the Fall. I believe this will provide me with the professional avenue to change policy and never have to be subjected to discrimination in such a way again.