Michael McEnroe
Captain, U.S. Army (1950-1952)
I served proudly as an Army Military Intelligence Officer on active duty for nine years. I was a strategic U.S./Korean intelligence staffer in Korea, and a tactical intelligence officer in Germany (brigade level S-2), where I was entrusted with access to nuclear codes and oversaw intelligence and security for an army installation and a nuclear weapons storage site. I also had command of a nine-state counterintelligence region in the United States, where I oversaw security for several highly secretive special access programs. My service culminated with a 19-month nominative assignment as senior duty officer in the White House Situation Room. I had the highest levels of clearance in the U.S. government, including access to "president's eyes only" materials.
Like most gays in the military, I knew that I was gay, but was forced to live a life in the closet out of paralyzing fear that I would be discovered and my career ruined. The defining moment for me deciding to leave the military was during the 1993 March on Washington. I actually had to cross the line of marchers to go to work through the southwest gate of the White House. I was watching the speeches on television inside the Situation Room and was amazed at the courage demonstrated by the brave military individuals. Although his name now escapes me, I was particularly proud of a fighter pilot who had recently come out. His courage was heroic. After my service in the White House, I decided to forfeit what was to be a very promising career because I could no longer live with the fear of being discovered. When I submitted my resignation, the chief of military intelligence officer assignments called to ask me to reconsider.
I left several months into the Clinton administration shortly after "don't ask, don't tell." It is important to note that the policy was of no comfort to those that required high-level clearances, who undergo intrusive background investigations by the FBI and Department of Defense Investigative Service and the threat of "lifestyle" polygraph tests.
Ironically, in the military's collective mind, I was less of a threat to national security by hiding my homosexuality, than if I openly admitted it. I have since graduated from a top 10 law school, worked in a large international law firm, and now serve as in-house counsel for a Fortune 500 company. After Sept. 11, 2001, I'm saddened to know that the efforts I have put into the private sector could have been of much more value to our nation had I been able to openly continue my proud service.