William Smith
Sergeant, United States U.S. Army and Army Reserve (1989-1997)
I have been and will always be an American soldier. Despite the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, I have served my country well, with honor, pride, and integrity. When I enlisted for military service near the end of my junior year of high school, I did so because of my sense of pride and duty to my country. Back then I was not concerned about whether I was gay or straight, I just knew I wanted to be a part of the military.
I did my basic training at Ft. Dix, New Jersey. I loved it! Don’t get me wrong, it was tough. There were several times I wondered what the hell I had gotten myself into. In the end, I made some really great friends, learned valuable skills, and enjoyed the discipline demanded of us by the drill instructors. I also learned about the Soldier’s Creed and the Army’s core values. I learned that without those close connections, skills, discipline, and values, you could not accomplish the mission.
Following basic, I was off to Ft. Huachuca, Arizona, to learn my MOS - 96B (intelligence analyst). After successfully learning the new skills required of me, I was assigned to the famed 1st Infantry Division —- the Big Red One (BRO) at Ft. Riley, Kansas. Furthermore, I was assigned to one of the oldest units in the Army: Headquarters & Headquarters Battery, 1st Battalion, 5th Field Artillery Regiment —- Hamilton’s Own. I loved my job, loved the training, loved the morning runs singing cadence, and I loved being part of a great tradition.
All the training became a reality one November day in 1990, when the BRO was called to duty as part of Operation Desert Shield. My unit deployed to Saudi Arabia at the end of December 1990 and returned to Ft. Riley at the end of May 1991. During the time in the desert, we trained, we moved frequently, and fought fearlessly during the ground war. I will never forget my experience during Desert Shield and Storm, or the soldiers I fought with. I was awarded the Bronze Star for my service during Desert Storm.
A year after returning from the Persian Gulf, I decided to take advantage of an early out of the Army. During that year I came out to my mother and sister and some friends in the Army. The decision to leave active duty was a difficult one for me to make because of my strong sense of duty and pride. I received an Honorable Discharge in June 1992 and enlisted in the Army Reserve in October 1992.
I remained in the Reserve until December 1997, when I decided the time had come for me to ‘tell’. At that time, I had applied to become an Army Reserve Recruiter, and during the application process, I came to realize that I would have to uphold “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and deny prospective recruits the opportunity to serve. I also realized that I would have to further deny who I am while in a full-time role as a recruiter. I decided I could not, with integrity, do it.
With the assistance of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (SLDN), I drafted a letter to my commander expressing my disagreement with the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy and explaining that I could no longer serve with integrity because of the policy. I was asked more than once to take my letter back and that all would be forgotten. Doing so would have gone against everything the Army taught me about integrity.
It is time to end this flawed policy and allow those who wish to serve in the military the opportunity to do so, regardless of their sexual orientation. Being gay never interfered with my ability to do my job. I would love to continue my service to my country, but only with integrity, honor and pride. I served my country with honor; I wish my country, in turn, would honor all of its service members —– gay and straight.