John Frybarger
Staff Sergeant, U.S. Air Force (1965-1969)
I am a 57-year-old veteran of the U.S. Air Force, and I served from 1965 until 1969. During my training, I was constantly aware of the importance of staying in the closet, especially after repeated attempts by fellow servicemen to get me to admit to being gay. I consistently received outstanding performance ratings, and during re-enlistment interviews, I was encouraged by all my superiors to consider making the Air Force a career. Although I had many enjoyable experiences during my time in the service and consider it to have been a formidable learning opportunity, I could not commit that large a portion of my life to feeling the discomfort associated with staying in the closet.
The ban on homosexual service policy cost me a promising career but more importantly, denied the U.S. Air Force a conscientious and dedicated service member when so many were dying in Southeast Asia. For all the progress I have seen over the past 40 years in the fight for gay rights, it seems to me the forced absence of gays serving in the military has been one of the greatest unmet challenges of our government.
Sadly, there are many I will never meet because they died serving their country during the Vietnam War. Since my discharge, I have met many gay men and women who served during Vietnam and without exception, they were proud to have served but disappointed by the anti-gay policies of the military.