A Full, Loving Household
In 2005, Grace and I decided co-parenting one child was not enough. We had enough love, patience, and household space for more kids. No babies for us; we wanted older children.
Initially seeking adoption through Waiting Children Minnesota, we discovered the challenges involving the available post-adolesent children could possibly put our young son at risk. So we then chose parenting through foster care, thinking we'd parent children under 9 years on short-term, long-term, or emergency basis. Our focus shifted from what we wanted (more children) to what the children needed (shelter, security and safety in a loving home).
Our call came in November 2006 the same day we were licensed. Could we provide respite care for three siblings (ages 5, 3 and 2) for ten days? Sure, we said, not realizing the children would wrap themselves around our hearts and eventually move into our home as our forever family.
The complicated journey towards family involved paperwork, state and national clearances, fingerprints, background checks, references, and a home makeover. But our biggest challenge has been changing how we parent. Our oldest, adopted at age 6 months, has grief and loss issues. Our younger children also experience grief and loss, combined with the results of abuse and abandonment. We’ve engaged therapists, had in-home counseling, attended classes, and simply tried approaches until one worked.
We are now awaiting our final court date for the adoption to become finalized. Although the journey has been difficult, we’ve seen incredible growth emotionally, socially and physically. Grace and I have also become stronger in our relationship and our ability to communicate and navigate tough times. We have a full, loving household, with thoughts of some day fostering additional children.
Suzanne Sheppard, Chanhassen, Minn.
Nov. 15, 2007