Transgender Visibility Guide: Being Open with Yourself
From birth, most of us are raised to think of ourselves as fitting into a certain mold. Our culture and often our families teach us that we are “supposed to” look, act and carry ourselves in certain ways.
Few of us were told that we might have a gender identity that differs from the body into which we were born or that we might feel compelled to express our gender in ways that aren’t traditionally associated with the gender we were assigned at birth.
That’s why so many of us are scared, worried or confused when facing these truths in ourselves. We can spend a lifetime attempting to hide it, hoping against hope that it’s not true or that it might someday simply go away.
There is no one moment when it’s “right” to be open with yourself. Some transgender people have long struggled to live the lives they think they’re supposed to live instead of the lives they know they were meant to live. And some come to question or recognize their gender identities and expressions suddenly.
Transgender people come out during all stages and walks of life — when they’re children or teens; when they’re seniors; when they’re married, when they’re single; when they have children of their own.
Some transgender people come out simply by having the courage to be different. This can range from women who express themselves in traditionally masculine ways to men who do things that are generally considered feminine. For them, there is often no question of disclosure. They live openly and authentically by simply embracing their difference.
Some transgender people may feel little need to disclose themselves to others. Some cross-dressers, for example, may only express this aspect of themselves in private, considering it a fulfilling and beneficial part of their personalities.
Other transgender people may have a sense of gender that does not match the sex they were assigned at birth. Whether by asking friends, family and co-workers to call them by another name and pronoun, or by undergoing medical transition, disclosure to others is both critical and stressful.
Given the diversity among transgender people, there’s no single rule to be applied as to whether a person will or even should disclose this aspect of themselves to others.
But one thing we all have in common is that we take our first step by being open and truthful with ourselves.
Throughout the disclosure process, it’s common to feel:
- Scared
- Unsafe
- Confused
- Guilty
- Empowered
- Exhilarated
- Relieved
- Proud
- Uncertain
- Brave
- Affirmed
Finding a Community
For many of us who identify ourselves as transgender, it is important to find others who share similar experiences and emotions. Finding a community of peers can help us feel less alone on our new paths and can answer questions we might have about next steps.
If you live near a major city, you may find support or social groups nearby. For those living in suburban or rural areas, finding a formal group might be more difficult. But transgender people live in every corner of the world, and you are not alone. One place to start is the Internet. A wide range of transgender communities exists online. Whether by subscribing to an e-mail group, reading or participating in blogs or joining an online community, you can find numerous resources on the Web.
Transgender Visibility Guide
