You Can Never Be Sure
By Sharon M.
My partner and I have been together for two years. After a long history of disastrous relationships with men, I finally came out to my family and my community.
My sister tried to get the court to take away my children. My ex-husband sent letters to the entire community explaining my "insanity." Neither my partner nor I are allowed in our mothers' homes.
We share the parenting responsibilities for my six children. My partner has not been able to work steadily since her program was closed at a local college. She has serious health problems and my insurance will not cover her. We have begun to put together paperwork to detail our rights but are never comfortable with what might happen. One of our children has multiple emotional/physical/learning disabilities. Despite the fact that my partner spends more time with him than anyone else but me, the school system and other services don't recognize her.
The people working with us are supportive, but the system doesn't provide for our union. My disabled son has difficulty with abstract thought. He can't comprehend the meaning of our relationship as the people tell him that two women can't be married and use "gay" as a derogatory term.
Having said all this, there are bright spots. My other children are great at understanding our family. Individuals have been supportive and loving. We hope to move forward and grow. I have always been a trusting, loving person. But this situation has taught me that you can never be sure your family will always be intact. There's no one to protect you, your partner or your children. It's not a good place to be.
Jan. 13, 2003