Single and Pregnant
By Sandi
I am 32, single and lesbian. I am also pregnant. It's assumed that all singles are straight; I've never figured out why. It was a long, hard road to become pregnant. There were many tests, investigations and procedures to endure. And because the end goal was always a child of my own, endure them I did.
In the process, I found out that had I been straight or married or otherwise, becoming pregnant wasn't something that was ever going to be easy for me. So, I was stimulated with hormones, my body jumpstarted into doing what it should have been doing naturally. My body was sluggish, so the hormone levels were upped. All of a sudden, it seemed to realize what it was supposed to be doing and it went ahead and produced eight very good-sized follicles. I screamed in frustration when the insemination cycle was cancelled.
More time passed. There were more investigations of why I was having difficulty becoming pregnant. I even had an operation to remove a fibroid. I changed donors three times. Finally, two years after starting the roller coaster that had taken over my life, it happened! Again, I screamed -- this time, in happiness! It had worked. I was pregnant!
The roller coaster continues. I got to see my baby through ultrasounds - first, as a jellybean with a heartbeat, then as a tiny babe with arms and little legs. In the most recent ultrasound, I got to see pretty much everything. Everything, that is, except the gender. I think they are keeping that to themselves!
And I sit here now in wonder at this tiny being inside who is currently kicking away happily. Each kick is a reminder of, "Look! I'm here!" So I say hello back to them and look forward to meeting this tiny special person who has so much to teach me. I am eager to learn.
Oct. 30, 2002