Life Throws You a Curve Ball
By John F. Kelly
My partner, Terrance, and I are licensed foster parents in New Jersey. When we first got together, we decided we were not going to have children. The reason being that we were too selfish and did not want to share our lives with anyone else.
But a situation arose with my nephew, and he needed to be removed from his father's care quickly. We took him into our home and almost overnight we fell in love with him. Not only did we take custody of him, but we also took foster parenting classes so that we could keep him as a foster child.
This has not been easy. Because the placement was not done correctly, my nephew had to be removed from our home and placed with strangers for two months while the various state agencies got all their paperwork straightened out.
To this day, all is not well. We are still waiting for the process to be finalized so we can receive the financial support we need in order to care for this child. We have had custody of my nephew since August 2001. Now we are trying to sell our townhouse in Bridgewater, N.J. We need a four-bedroom house because my niece is still living with strangers in foster care on Long Island. We want to take her into our home so that she and her brother can be raised together.
Their father has a family court hearing in October. Terrance and I will be there to petition the court to start the process of removing his parental rights. We do this because he has had over a year to get his life straightened out and has made no effort to do so. Our goal is to adopt these children and give them the love and stability we know they need and we know we can give.
I must say that although we have been given the run around throughout this whole situation, our being gay has never been an obstacle with any of the state agencies with which we have dealt. Thanks to the same-sex couples in New Jersey before us who fought for their right to adopt and won, we know that when it comes time to adopt our being gay will not be a hindrance.
I am also pleased that the marriage issue is before the courts in New Jersey. We look forward to a positive outcome there. It is funny how life throws you a curve ball sometimes. It is wonderful when you catch it.
Sept. 16, 2002