Choosing an Unknown Donor
Using a sperm bank typically does not offer your child the opportunity to know the donor, at least, perhaps, until after the age of 18. Moreover, using a sperm bank will surely nudge up any feelings of awkwardness around donor insemination, as you first look through a "catalog" of donors, figure out how to choose one, and receive tiny vials of sperm in a large tank delivered by Federal Express. But in many ways, it remains a safer alternative than becoming pregnant through someone you know.
Practical Advantages
Reduced Risk of HIV/AIDS
Accredited banks quarantine a semen sample for six months before releasing it to any woman. The reason: When a man is exposed to HIV, he may not develop any antibodies for as long as six to eight weeks and, thereby, may unknowingly put others at risk. By quarantining all specimens, a sperm bank allows plenty of time for thorough testing for HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.
Ability to Control Your Child's Exposure to Problematic Genes
When a woman falls in love with a man and they decide to have children together, this usually proceeds regardless of his family's medical history, which may include alcoholism, heart disease, mental illness or numerous other problems. But with a sperm bank, you can choose your donor based on a clean bill of health, or, at least, a clear-headed evaluation of the donor's comprehensive medical history.
Reduced Risk of Custody Challenges
In some states, when a lesbian has a child with the help of a male friend or acquaintance, she exposes herself to potential custody challenges. But when she has a child with the help of an anonymous donor found through a sperm bank, she is shielded from those challenges because unknown donors surrender all their parenting rights.
Questions and Concerns
Why Would a Man Donate to a Sperm Bank? "Most people assume that men donate sperm exclusively for the financial compensation," writes Carol Frost Vercollone, in Helping the Stork: The Choices and Challenges of Donor Insemination. And this understandably raises questions about a donor's character.
But while money does draw some men (especially cash-strapped college students) at $50 per donation, it is far from the only motivation. In fact, many sperm donors say their overriding motive is to help couples have babies.
One donor at the Sperm Bank of California, for example, wrote that he wanted "To help others complete their families if they choose not to try to adopt and have joy in their lives."
Another explained: "I realize the people applying for sperm have gone through a great deal of thought about having a child and deserve the best gene pool possible, and as a healthy, athletic young male, I believe I can help."
While research on this topic is limited, studies also have shown that many donors desire to help couples have babies. In fact, more than half of those surveyed said they would become donors even if there were no financial compensation, according to a study by researcher Ken Daniels, which Carol Frost Vercollone cites in Helping the Stork.
But if you wonder what motivated the donor you are considering, ask. Most sperm banks routinely ask this question of donors and will share their answers with you.
How Do You Know the Donor is Telling the Truth?
According to Vercollone, prospective donors are told that they will be not only ethically but also legally liable if they conceal information. In addition, she notes, most reputable sperm banks use an extensive application process that contains checks and balances meant to catch falsehoods.
How Can You Trust a Sperm Bank's Screening Process?
Most banks report that only about one in 10 applicants is accepted as a donor, according to Vercollone. Whom do they look for? Young men who are healthy, attractive personable and fertile, although, of course, only the latter can be judged by any objective measures.
Barbara Raboy, founder of the Sperm Bank of California, put it this way: "Donors don't sign a contract until & after they've been oriented, interrogated, subjected to rectal, throat and urethral swabs, and otherwise palpated and probed."
Still, for something as important as this, you want more than someone's say-so. So here are some important factors to consider before you make your choice.