Coming Out to Family as Bisexual
For many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people, coming out to their families is a momentous occasion in their lives. Because coming out to your family is a key step in the process, it helps to prepare yourself for how they might react.
You may find that some members of your family are unfamiliar with bisexuality. Many people view sexuality as a straightforward, cut-and-dry matter, so you may have to explain that for you, it’s more complicated.
You might need to educate your relatives about the basics of bisexuality and what sets you apart from gay, lesbian and straight people. You could also be asked questions stemming from the widespread myths about bisexuality, so you may want to think about possible answers to these questions before you initiate that first talk with your family.
Parents, in particular, can raise difficult questions after a child comes out to them as bisexual. Some parents might say they could understand if their child was gay or lesbian, but they aren’t sure what to make of a bisexual child. And some parents view their bisexual children as “part straight” or “not really gay,” and hope that they will find opposite-sex partners. Bisexual children who find same-sex partners may find their parents expressing dismay that they would “choose” to have a same-sex relationship, even though they’re also attracted to people of the opposite sex. Likewise, parents of bisexual children with opposite-sex partners may express relief that their children turned out to be “straight” after all.
In addition, if your sexual orientation evolves over time, you may find yourself having to come out multiple times. For example, you may identify as gay or lesbian at one point in your life, but later come to identify as bisexual. And if you’ve already told family members that you are gay or lesbian, you may find yourself in the difficult position of having to come out to them again — this time, as a bisexual person.
Educating your family will be an ongoing process. It’s important to keep in mind, though, that while the facts surrounding your sexual orientation may seem obvious to you, it may represent a significant change from the way your family has always viewed the world. Although you’ve had time to grow comfortable with your sexuality, you are your family’s only source of information on the subject. Try to remain patient with them and answer their questions openly and honestly. The key point to remember is that all relationships, whether they are same-sex or opposite-sex, deserve respect and understanding.