What are the Non-Biological Mom's Visitation Rights in Indiana?
Answered by Leslie Cooper, staff attorney with the American Civil Liberties Union's Lesbian and Gay Rights Project. Mar. 18, 2002
Q: Dear Ms. Cooper,
I am a resident of Indiana and recently ended an eight-year relationship with another woman.
Two years ago, we decided that she would become artificially inseminated and we would raise the child together. Nothing, however, was documented legally. She had the baby about a year ago.
I have been there with the baby until last November. I have taken care of him at night while she worked. I am able to take him to the pediatrician's office as she informed the office staff that I was also the child's "mommy." The child and several other people also refer to me as "mommy." Since the relationship has ended, she has allowed the child to stay with me for days at a time. However, when she becomes angry with me, she takes the child saying that I am unfit and does not allow me to see him for weeks.
I am a 29-year-old registered nurse with a clean record and have never done anything detrimental to the child. I was wondering if I have any legal ground on which to stand regarding shared custody or visitation. If you could answer my questions or at least point me in the right direction, it would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
Paula
A: Dear Paula,
I'm afraid that an Indiana court has not yet decided the issue you raise. Therefore, it is difficult to predict whether you would be successful if you petitioned a court for shared custody or visitation.
A number of courts across the country have addressed the question of whether a nonbiological lesbian mother has the right to seek visitation after the family unit breaks up. The results are mixed. Appellate courts in some states, including New York, California and Florida, have held that a person who is neither a biological nor adoptive parent is a legal stranger to the child she raised and that her petition for visitation cannot even be considered by a family court.
Appellate courts in other states, including New Jersey, Pennsylvania and Massachusetts, have disagreed. Those courts have concluded that where an adult can show that she has assumed the role of a parent to a child - in other words, that she serves as a "psychological parent" -- she can be awarded visitation if the family court determines that to be in the best interest of the child.
I would recommend consulting with an Indiana attorney about whether taking a chance in court is the best approach for you.