Only the Beginning
By Douglas E. Smith
I began a relationship last summer with a guy who I'll call Mike. I've known him from a distance for several years but there were several obstacles and the timing was just never right for us to get together. Still, there were so many things about Mike that drew me closer to him and then we happened to run into each other at a dance club. We spent some time together talking and dancing and made a tentative date for the following week.
Since that night, I've felt so enriched by having him in my life. He brings so much to the table and teaches me every day about what life is really all about. I've never had such respect for anybody before.
Mike is a first-grade teacher and incredible father of two wonderful, well-grounded girls, who are 12 and 14 years old. He continues to be the best of friends with his ex-wife and the mother of his children. This all says so much about Mike's caliber and what he represents.
We also have many similar goals. We both want to adopt. I started the process alone last year, but put it on hold after I saw what we had here. We're now hoping to adopt together within the next year or so. We're also talking about moving in together. It's really up to the girls as to how quickly we act on this. We want them to be comfortable. I adore his kids and they have made me feel part of the family. Even his ex-wife has made it clear to me that she feels the same way.
The only issue seems to be an ongoing one. We are both 37 years old, but come from very different socioeconomic places. I really don't think about it. But whenever money comes up, it becomes clear that Mike is very uncomfortable. I really feel that what's mine is his and I enjoy doing things for him and his daughters and helping to ease the burden. I feel fortunate to be able to do things for people I care about. But he feels that it's not an "even" relationship because he doesn't have as much money as I do. I, however, see his life as so much richer. We continue to try and help each other through this and, eventually, I'm sure we'll overcome it.
Meanwhile, I will continue to be awed and amazingly enlightened about what life is really all about. My hope is that this is only the beginning of an incredible future together.
May 28, 2002