Best Interest
By Sue Riley
As our families grow, it is more important than ever to protect the integrity of that family unit. I am not my daughter's birth mother, but I am her mother. My daughter knows me only as her Mommy. She also knows her birth mother as her Mommy too.
No family should be broken apart, especially should there be an event that is unforeseen and unexpected. I work in financial services and have many clients and people in my firm who where directly effected by the events of Sept. 11, 2001. That date stands out in the minds of people, letting them know that losing a loved one could happen to anyone at anytime. Two weeks before that day, I miscarried at 20 weeks into pregnancy. The thought of ever losing my current daughter because we don't have adoption would be unbearable. My partner's parents are very old, her brothers live in New York and we wouldn't want them to raise our child should something happen to one of us. Adoption is important.
I was a chairperson for an event in Orange County, Calif., and the funds were directly funneled to the woman who lost her partner in the Pentagon. She lost the sole provider of the family, as she was a stay-at-home mom, and she almost lost her house. If that happened to someone who was not the birth mother and did not have adoption completed, she would have lost her partner and her family.
Adoption is practical and makes sense for many reasons. Protecting our children is my first priority. The second as a non-birth mother is protecting my rights as a parent. My daughter is my daughter and should the relationship of her birth mother and I ever change, I would want the right to visit my daughter and be a part of her life.
We are now expecting our second daughter in November and once again the same concerns will be there until adoption is complete. I will start trying to get pregnant again this January and want my partner to adopt the birth child I have for all the same reason. I do not ever want my family to be forced to live apart. I want to ensure that my partner will raise our children should anything ever happen to me as I know that is in the best interest of our family.
Sept. 18, 2002