How do we approach a new school?
Answered by Ruti Kadish, consultant to the Human Rights Campaign Family Project. June 19, 2006.
Q: Dear Ruti,
We are looking for information or possibly sample texts for contacting school systems regarding their respect for human differences and diversity of family structures. Our family will be relocating within the state of Massachusetts. While we are in the process of looking for a new home we would like some guidance in how best to approach school systems and to help us find an environment that will help our daughter build confidence and pride in her younger years. We are concerned about potentially needing to relocate to an area that we do not know much about the school system and/or community.
Thank you for your help and consideration,
Kirsten and Andrea
A: Dear Kirsten and Andrea,
You are certainly fortunate to live in a state with progressive laws around gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people and a proven history confronting anti-gay bias in the schools. Massachusetts has a State Safe Schools Law and has had Department of Education staff devoted to these issues. Nonetheless, as many have attested, even when the most progressive and inclusive regulations and programs are in place at the state level, and even at the district or county level, there is no guarantee that the regulations are heeded and that the programs are implemented at the individual school level. Our observations indicate that an environment that is welcoming to our families and supportive of our children is created and cultivated by the leadership/administration of any given individual school.
I gather from your query that your daughter’s new school will depend on where you find your new home. Given that, when you know where you’re landing, plan to meet with the principal and/or counselor at your daughter’s new school. If there is an active PTA, you might also like to meet with the incoming PTA president. In preparation for these meetings look at the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network publication, “Is This the Right School for Us? A Guide to Assessing School Climates for LGBT Parents of Elementary-Aged Children.”
I would also refer you to the Boston chapters of GLSEN and Parents, Family & Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Both have been working on Massachusetts-specific primary education materials.
One more suggestion, which applies in every school but particularly if you’re moving to an area that has less exposure to diversity in general and gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender families in particular, is to approach the school administration and the teachers with the attitude that we are all on the same team: we all want what is best for all children; all children deserve to be safe, welcomed and respected; and an environment conducive to learning and academic excellence (in this debilitating age of No Child Left Behind and constantly increasing testing) relies on creating precisely an environment in which all children feel safe, welcomed and respected.
Good luck and please don’t hesitate to write again.
