Coming Out in Society as Transgender
It is still a journey. I am comfortable knowing that I am transgender, and while I’ve not begun to transition, someday I might decide that is the right path for me. But for now, I know who I am and control my own future and how I handle those who aren’t as understanding. Many of them are where I had been, not even knowing there was a name for feeling born into the wrong body. But I can help educate them, just as I had to educate myself.
— Tomas Moore, female-to-male transgender graduate student
Often before a child is even born, the first question for parents is, “Will it be a boy or a girl?” Much of society expects a person’s gender to be rigid and unchanging. In the public arena, confusion about gender may make people uncomfortable, and can sometimes lead them to say and do things to express that discomfort. This means that transgender people often face harassment while engaged in the day-to-day interactions required in our society.
“I’ve gotten to a point where I have stored up snappy answers to the questions people will ask me,” says Aron Lane, a female-to-male transgender graduate student from Chicago. “But that only happened after years of being told I was in the wrong bathroom. The first few times it happened, I felt so ashamed, as if I was in the wrong for being who I was.”
Everyday Life
Basic life occurrences such as renewing your driver’s license, using a credit card, boarding an airplane or using a public bathroom turn into anxious moments for many transgender people.
For some transgender people, one of the first steps in expressing their identity is being called by a name that reflects their gender. There are many reasons why transgender people may want to change their names. From an emotional standpoint, a name change reflecting your gender can be a significant part of expressing your identity. Practically, a name that isn’t typically associated with the gender someone presents may cause unnecessary confusion and discomfort. Again, however, it’s important to give others time to adjust to a new name.
“When I asked people to start calling me J., there were obviously many who didn’t understand why it was important to me and many more who just had a hard time switching from my female name,” says J. Smith, HRC’s communications manager who identifies as transgender. “Now, almost everybody has the hang of it. The next step is my identity documents, though. Changing them can be a hassle, but because most people in public perceive me as male, I face hassles almost every time I hand someone my credit card, my driver’s license or even when I’m using a membership card to rent a movie.”
Some male-to-female transgender people take their first gender-expressive steps by transgressing a particular gender norm such as wearing earrings or shaving their legs.
Further steps can be taken to formalize one’s transition. In many states, transsexuals can obtain new or amended birth certificates that indicate their new gender identities and names following sex-reassignment surgery, which can then be used to change the sex on a driver’s license.
For more information on making these legal changes, visit the section on gender identity, the National Center for Lesbian Rights’ Transgender Law Project or the Transgender Law & Policy Institute.
Encounters with Ignorance and Hate
For many people, the first reaction to the unknown is fear, and sometimes that fear becomes hatred. Unfortunately, some people choose to hate everyone who is different from them. Because there is still much education to be done about gender identity issues, transgender people often face harassment and physical threats. Only eight states (California, Hawaii, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, New Mexico, Pennsylvania and Vermont) and the District of Columbia have laws that cover crimes motivated by prejudice based on gender identity. This situation persists despite a strong popular consensus that individuals should never be subjected to violence because of who they are, according to a 2002 poll on transgender issues conducted by the Human Rights Campaign Foundation.
Local, state and national GLBT activists are working to educate the public and to pass gender-inclusive hate crimes laws. A federal hate crimes bill, known as the Local Law Enforcement Enhancement Act, would add real or perceived sexual orientation, gender and disability to the existing hate crimes statute. The members of Congress leading efforts on this bill say that the phrase “real or perceived gender” means it include crimes against transgender people. More than 175 law enforcement, civil rights and religious organizations support the bill, including the AFL-CIO, the National Council of La Raza and the Anti-Defamation League. For more information on this measure, go to the HRC Action Center.
No one should be denied the right to a full life because of their gender expression or identity. The Human Rights Campaign will continue to work until transgender Americans are free from the fear of hate violence. We all have a part to play in educating America about gender identity issues, and coming out as transgender is a powerful way to help end the ignorance.