Should I Bringing My Partner to the Office Holiday Party?
Answered by Daryl Herrschaft, deputy director for WorkNet for the Human Rights Campaign. Dec. 6, 2004.
Q: Dear Daryl,
Once again, I have been invited to my company's annual holiday party. The company invitation includes a guest, "spouse or significant other." I normally do not attend due to the absence of an official company policy on sexual orientation discrimination.
I do not want to go to this party without my partner. On the other hand, I feel obligated to attend due to my senior position with the firm. What should I do?
Sincerely,
Greg
A: Dear Greg,
Your experience is shared by many gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in the workplace. It can be very frustrating not to be able to attend company events with your significant other who happens to be your same-sex partner.
Whether or not to be open about your sexual orientation at work is a personal matter. No one can tell you when or if you should come out. Still, coming out in the workplace often is a very empowering experience. Trust and strong communication are essential components in any working relationship. Being honest about yourself will engender that trust among your co-workers and your boss and can score you points. Having a trusting relationship with your boss and co-workers can lead to getting the work assignments you want and creating a better work product. Not to mention the personal sense of relief.
If at all possible, to make you feel more secure about being protected from discrimination you might want to propose adding sexual orientation to your company's non-discrimination policy. You might also want to find straight colleagues who you think might be supportive to work with you in the effort.