Emergency Room Experience
James E. Massey and I met on January 28, 2000. On June 28, 2003, we were united in a covenant ceremony, at National City Christian Church’s Howland Center, in Washington, D.C. We subsequently registered as domestic partners in the State of California. On November 19, 2004, we finalized the adoption of our son.On June 15, 2006, I received a call from one of James’ co-workers, who said that James had collapsed at a CVS drug store near their Southwest D.C. office and had been taken by ambulance to the hospital. I then called 911 and was told that based on the location of the drug store, it was likely that James had been taken to Howard University Hospital. I then called a family friend and ask her to pick up our son from pre-school, while I went to Howard.
When I arrived at the emergency room at Howard, I asked the nurse at the desk whether James Massey had been brought to the hospital by ambulance. The nurse asked who I was and I explained: “My name is Ken Johnson and I am James Massey’s domestic partner.” The nurse replied that she could only release information to Mr. Massey’s immediate family. I replied that Mr. Massey and I had been partners for over six years; that we lived together; that we had registered as domestic partners in the State of California; that we had executed wills and powers of attorney on each other’s behalf; and that we had adopted a son together. The nurse’s response to me was: “You’re just the friend; I can only release information to immediate family members.”
I waited for the nurse to leave the station and I walked into the emergency room and began looking behind each curtain to see if I could find James. (At the time, I did not care about invading other patients’ privacy. I needed to find my partner and my son’s father.).
When I found James, a doctor and a nurse were working on him. James was lying unconscious in a hospital bed. He was bleeding from his nose and mouth. The doctor asked who I was and I said that I was James’ partner. The doctor explained that James had suffered a cerebral hemorrhage; that his condition was critical; and that they were going to move him to the intensive care unit. The doctor said that I could ride on the elevator with them and James to the ICU, but then I would have to leave.
When we arrived at the ICU, I told James that I loved him. I then left James’ room, according to the doctor’s instruction.
At our covenant ceremony, I took James to be my life partner, “for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death.” At the ceremony, I promised James: “I’m not leaving, no matter what.”
I did not want to leave James’ hospital room because I did not want him to die alone. But I knew that if I wanted to see him again and be involved in making decisions about his health care, that I would have to drive to our home in Fairfax County, Virginia, so that I could get our wills, living wills and powers of attorney.
After a few minutes, my friend arrived at the hospital and I asked her to drive me home. Due to traffic, it took us about two and a half hours to drive to my home; get the wills, living wills and powers of attorney; and drive back to the hospital. While we were gone, decisions were made about James’ health care that did not consider his wishes, as reflected in the living will that he had signed. When I returned to the hospital with our wills, living wills and powers of attorney, I was allowed to be involved in making decisions about James’ health care and to spend the night in James’ room. The next day, June 16, 2006, James died.
Kenneth D. Johnson
May 13, 2008