My Coming Out Made My Sister Feel “Normal”
By William Brough
While living in Mexico City in 1997, I had the opportunity to bring my little sister, Stephanie, down to visit me during her spring break. She was in her first year of college and a very bright student. There are 14 years and several other siblings between us, but we were still close and talked quite often.
One night, we decided to treat ourselves to a fancy dinner. It was a wonderful meal and atmosphere, and the evening was working out great. Most of the conversation was my description of this beautiful country, and my sister was anxious to explore the country with me while she had the time off.
Part of our conversation morphed into a relationship question-and-answer session. She shared how she had been flirting with a boy from school and contemplating dating him. Then, suddenly, she turned the questions in my direction and wanted to know what was going on with my love life. Not being out to her, I was cautious, as usual. But being in such a far-away setting, I ended up being more honest than I had in the past.
Stephanie finally got around to asking if I was in “any” relationship and I knew what direction we were headed in. My reply was simple.
“Do you want to know if I’m gay?” I asked.
“Well, are you?” she responded.
The moment of truth had arrived. Without hesitation, I said, “Yes, I am.” What a burden had just been lifted. The next few words from her mouth only added to my exuberance and were going to be remembered for the rest of my life.
She exhaled and sighed, then said, “Whew, what a relief. I feel so normal now!”
“Normal? I don’t get it,” I replied.
“Everyone I know has a gay brother or sister,” she said. “I didn’t until now. Not that it’s the hip, chic and trendy thing to have. But when others are speaking about their siblings, I had no point of reference – and no one to love like they did for having such an open and honest relationship with a brother or a sister! I always knew there was something different about you. But I could never quite put my finger on it. You lead such a ‘straight’ lifestyle and must have suffered trying not to alert anyone, especially our family, to this personal secret. I thank you for telling me and want you to know that I love you!”
I was so relieved. We sat there and cried, then laughed and enjoyed the evening more than either of us had ever expected. Our relationship has been better in the past six years since telling her, and I am closer to her than the rest of my brothers and sisters, who now also know that I am gay. But my bond with Stephanie is truly the best.