Retired Early to Take Care of Partner
By Winston
My partner, Leon, and I have been together for 40 years. We consider ourselves married, in our hearts. We have built a beautiful life together.
Friends tell us that the picture accompanying this story is very revealing of us — always laughing and always having a good time. But we don’t have a lot of opportunity to laugh these days.
Leon now has Parkinson’s disease. When he got to the point that he could not be left alone during the day any longer, I prematurely retired from my job so that I could stay home and take care of him. That was in 1998 — about 10 years earlier than my planned retirement.
When Leon passes, if I make it that long, our combined resources and retirement savings will be depleted because I had to leave my job 10 years before my expected retirement date.
Of course, I will not have access to Leon’s Social Security benefits, which I would have had if we had been allowed to marry. This is particularly significant because I have my own health problems.
Leon is one of three children from Jacksonville, Fla. His mother passed away a few years ago at the ripe old age of 94. His mother knew and liked me.
But despite witnessing our dedication to each other throughout so many years, she still could not get past her homophobia enough to leave an equal share of her estate to Leon, who so desperately needs it. She left most of her substantial estate to Leon’s two other siblings and another substantial part to the Catholic Church. She did not recognize our 40 years together in the same way as her two other children’s marriages.
Perhaps if Leon and I had been able to marry, she may have felt differently.
April 21, 2005
Related links:
• Marriage
• Federal Benefits